Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Making Monsters: A Ridiculous Introduction to Our Attempts to Breed.

Hi. Hello. Welcome. Whatever.

Most of the people who hang out here at 1313 Mockingbird Lane already know us but for those who don' should. But seriously, we're a couple of chumps who are bananas for each other that got hitched in the fall of 2009 and have been trying to put a bun in the oven ever since. But for 2 people who mash their genitals together more than anyone I know, we're not having such great luck.

Welcome to the Wide World of Fertility! She is a harsh mistress.

You spend most of your 20s trying NOT to get pregnant (epic FAIL) and then when you actually WANT to expand your family, it's like your uterus is a ghost town. Or perhaps a town that was infected with some sort of toxic plague. Don't be insulted, uterus. You know I love you. For a year now, that bright pink minus sign has been laughing in our faces. Well, there's only so much let down a person can take before they get rowdy.

And we KNOW that at one point or another, the parts responsible for making monsters worked because the future father, well, he's already a father to a 9 year old boy! Footnote/Sidebar: Our little family already has a child. We are ALREADY a family. He is a father, I am a step-monster. So when I say things about "becoming parents", I'm specifically jabbering about breeding together...and making this kid a big brother.

Anyway, according to our doc, a lot can happen in 10 years. Just because he knocked a girl up once upon a time doesn't mean things are still tip-top.  But I'll get into our doc and all that jazz another time...those are some crazy stories right there. Now, I'm just introducing you to our situation. We've been trying to get an eggo preggo for a year and we're tired of the waiting so in September, we started seeing an OB/GYN for a helping hand (preferably wearing latex gloves).

Cocktails are the only upside to not getting pregnant when you want to.

SO...I decided to start this blog to document our voyage into parenthood without it polluting my other blog...the rambling, blathering blog. I did the same thing when we got hitched because getting married was a big part of my life, but it wasn't the ONLY thing in my life. Just like trying to breed isn't the only thing in my just seems to be all-consuming right now. So from the struggling to that damned pink plus sign (I hope) to a human being bursting worth from my exhausted loins...

Yeah. These people want to become parents.


  1. Am I reading too much into the title, or was Todd right???

  2. my thoughts EXACTLY, ms. camevil...

  3. We don't know...YET...but there's certainly plenty of stuff to tell. We're showing fertility who's BOSS.