Making Progress: Dilation, Effacement, and Me

SO MUCH to blather at you about that restless bun that's been in my oven for 38 weeks!

Let's get the technical mumbo jumbo out of the way because it's EXCITING but not EXCITING. Spencer is still pretty much the size of a mini-watermelon but he's stretched from a swiss chard to the length of a leek...from a vegetable I'm not familiar with to a vegetable I'm not a fan of. "Can't wait to sneak a peak at my lil leek" - Todd. Regardless, I'm guessing I've got a lengthy little man in there because he's wedged up under my ribs while simultaneously using my bladder as a pillow. He's ALL OVER in there that I think he may be part octopus.

As for the specifics of being 38 weeks along, there's really not much to tell. The clock is winding down. He's still secreting that gunk that prevents his lungs from sticking together when he begins to breathe, he's layering on the fat, and his brain is continuing to develop it's Ivy League potential. And that's about it in that department! He's just prepping for his big debut!

As for moi, I could be leaking breast milk, but I'm not. I could have swollen feet and ankles, but I don't. No stretch marks, no itchy abdomen, no dark black tummy line, no sign of the mucous plug (ew). I AM really bouncing from hyper active to totally drained. Trying to use my spurts of energy to get last minute projects done. Contractions put a damper on that though. Yeeouch! I shed a few tear droplets the other day (haven't had many emotions while preggo) because I was in pain and frustrated but Todd rubbed the bump and made me feel a little better. It's good to have a partner in all this.

So here's my 38 week mug shot and shot of my mug, for posterity.

So I had my weekly doctor's appointment yesterday (but almost DIDN'T due to my doc ducking out to deliver a baby) and was totally ready to hear that I had made zero progress as certain people are convinced that I'm going to be late. My BP was still good (which I'm jazzed about because I've been having some headaches) and his heart beat was 142. Again, he gave the nurse a hard time and insisted on wriggling while she was using the Doppler. My little troublemaker. My weight remained the same and when she measured my fundal height, she said I was a little under but that it was alright. If she's not nervous, I'm not.

Like I said, I was honestly ready to hear that my cervix was like a steel trap and we'd just have to wait until next week for any developments. Shockingly, this was not the case! During my exam, she discovered I was 2 cm (1 and a wiggle, but she's counting it) and I'm 50% effaced. ROCK! Effacement is really what you want. Yes, they sort of go hand-in-hand (10 cm and 100% = baby) but you can only dilate SO FAR without being effaced. They can make you dilate but they can't thin you out! So I'm in a really good place and the doc said it truly can be any day.

The nurse said I might not even make it to my appointment next Wednesday!

The Godmother: Excellent. I think your body is ready to get him on outta there. I want to poke at him. Nicely of course. Rest up and efface!

Like always, I need to make notes of my contractions and call when I have them every 5 minutes for an hour. I was also told that if I am leaking any fluid to call right away, contractions or not. For the first time, I was spotting a little. I was told this could happen after a vaginal exam this late in the game but it was still scary to see. It didn't last long and now I'm back to feeling like me. All anxious and excited. It truly COULD be any time now. EEK! So tonight, we get the car seat and my bag in the car and stock the freezer and cupboard. This could possibly be the LAST WEEKLY UPDATE (if I get my way)!!!

My fortune cookie seems to think so!

Positively Overwhelmed: Starting To Feel Like a Parent

"You're doing a good job growing my son" - Todd

I can't sleep. My bladder and my dream factory have woken me up several times and now I'm just...up. I'm getting more and more anxious. Our countdown to the due date is officially in the teens now (19 to be exact). It's all tangible and the excitement is overwhelming. That moment when you KNOW it's time is like the last major, genuine surprise you get in life. And that surprise could happen to us any day.

I wonder what he'll look like. We both have (naturally) medium brown hair, hazel eyes, and freckles. We're both tall. I have sleepy eyes and full lips. Todd has long eyelashes and a small beak. In the ultrasound pictures, he clearly had my jaw/chin and Todd's nose, and they could already tell he had hair at 18 weeks. I have a feeling he'll have lots of hair, not sure why...probably the heartburn. My stepson doesn't look ANYTHING like my husband. Not one bit. So I'm super interested to see some of him in our son.

Our son...who just woke up and is playing ribcage xylophone.

I love him so much that I'm on the fence about wanting him here so we can be a family and keeping him in there where I can protect him and keep him safe. Once he's out, he's exposed to the harshness of this world. Horrible things happen, kids are cruel, there's emotional pain. Is this what being a parent is like? Pure panic?? Todd and I love each other and are totally in love with Spencer, which I have to believe is the most important thing. And there's a huge support system of family and pals (all his rock-n-roll aunts and uncles) that will help mold him into a strong individual, providing him with all the love he needs. He's a lucky boy.

But Todd and I are far luckier. The luckiest.

So Close: Our Son's Arrival Is Right Around The Corner

Do NOT Google "mucous plus" unless you really want to see it. Nightmarish.

Oh, by the way, you DON'T want to see it. Even if you ARE pregnant.

So today I am 37 weeks along and my man is either the size of swiss chard or a really round watermelon, depend on who you ask. I'm guessing the comparison to swiss chard has to do with his length and the watermelon with his overall size ("Monster melon"). Either way, he's as tasty as ever.

I'm definitely starting to loosen up, ligament-wise. I've got the waddle going on but I was told that it's cute. I'm not leaking any breast milk, my feet and ankles aren't swollen, I'm still painting my own toenails (they're Slate this week)...but I AM contracting at really odd intervals. Last night, they were 2 hours and 48 minutes, 3 hours 24 minutes, 1 hour and 26 minutes, and 18 minutes apart...followed by nothing because I fell asleep. The previous day, they were 1 hour 29 minutes, 5 minutes, 41 minutes, and 3 hours 11 minutes apart. So we're all over the map in the contraction department.

Oh! My man is awake! And he has the hiccups. He ALWAYS has the hiccups.

At this moment, he's shedding all that weird vernix and lanugo shtuff and swallowing amniotic fluid. My nephews recently inquired what a shot of amniotic fluid might taste like. That was enough to make me want to throw up in my mouth. Basically, he's good to go and could come out at any time but the longer he cooks, the better. The only thing still developing really is the lungs. They're maturing and something called "surfactant" is being secreted. I guess that keeps the lungs from sticking together when he begins to breathe. I find that fascinating.

I find the fact that the lungs COULD stick together horrific!

I have 8 work days left until maternity leave. I'd be lying if I said I'm not starting to get nervous. I am. Not about being a parent or being responsible for raising a human being. I've gotten over that. I'm nervous about the dogs. I'm nervous about the house not being as clean as I want it. I'm nervous about my maternity-leave replacement being properly trained. I'm nervous about money (although it is so nice to know a paycheck is coming every week while I'm off). I'm nervous about things going well during delivery. I'm nervous that he might not be healthy or there will be some other complication. And yeah, I'm nervous about the pain and my ability to remain tough.

I'm sure every mother has these worries but they're all hitting me like a ton of bricks and keeping me up at night...though my bladder and a baby that never seems to sleep help with that one. I'm taking everything day by day. Actually, I'm taking things hour by hour because I never know for certain how I'm going to feel. I'm doing the best I can. This much I know.