Coasting Along: Bouncing Back As The First Trimester Starts To Wrap Up.

Even after kicking off my 12th week of pregnancy, I remain Pro-Choice. However, like I've said before, it is getting way too hard to look for pictures of what my monster looks like in utero because I'm getting a lot of shots of abortion aftermath. They are definitely not sights I want to see when I'm feeling all warm and fluffy about our baby being the size of a lime. I have a slight obsession with limes and think they're a cute fruit. These photographs I wind u seeing...not so cute. Mortifying.

Regardless...

The brain is fully developed and the placenta is on it's way. Hair buds (that's a little creepy, tooth buds, hair buds) are forming, the digestive stuff is starting to "crunch" here and there, and the vocal chords are in place. I guess the little baby beast can even cry now if it feels like it. Last night I had a dream that I was in labor and it really wasn't that bad. I'm going to keep on dreaming.

Not too much else to report at this point in time. Soon enough, the 1st trimester is going to be behind us. I'm still feeling a little wishy-washy from the nuttiness earlier this week but I overall, I feel seriously improved! I've rejoined the land of the living!! And our "official" ultrasound was moved up a week to this Thursday. I can't wait to learn more about this little monster that I'm becoming more and more attached to as the days go by!

My little lime...

Heart-Go-Throb: A Moment Of Calm In a Scary Situation.

WELCOME TO 10 WEEKS! Sorry I'm late. Some crazy shtuff has gone on in the last week so let me just get picture fun time out of the way so I can get to the good (well, maybe not so good) stuff.

The monster is this big (that's a prune, I guess):

And looks like this:

And I look like this:

About a week ago, I was starting to feel like I had turned a corner, though I was recently told that there are no corners. Just illusions of corners. Regardless, my appetite was back...you can just ask the fine people at P.F. Chang's Asian Bistro..., I had enough energy to stay up until 9:30 (!!!) and bowl with Uncle Benjamima, and the small bouts of nausea I was having had taken a hike. I was really starting to bounce back...until I wasn't.

Saturday and Sunday, I had a mind-numbing headache and while I've gotten the OK to take Tylenol, I'm very wary. I mean, at this point, I still hadn't seen a heartbeat or anything so I was a little worried. But the headache was NEVER ENDING. Grrrrrr. But I'd take a headache over what happened next.

This is all paraphrased from The Cleveland "A" cause I'm too lazy to retell the story in a more inventive way:

1/25/11: Until yesterday, I had never really fainted before. It was unexpected as I'm guessing most fainting is. I was in the shower getting ready for work and, pardon my French, blacked-the-fuck-out. I never lost consciousness but I lost vision. A few stumbles back and I cracked my melon on the shower wall. Vision back, room spinning, heart pounding, me yacking. Ultra glamorous. And ultra scary.

Went to the ER,  they asked me a battery of questions and ran a plethora of tests, including several BP tests and an EKG. The conclusion was that my blood pressure was reaaaaaally low (due to pregnancy, dehydration, and possibly the notoriously hot showers I take). My blood supply has increased and is focused around the tiny human I'm growing. Takes longer for blood to get to the brain. But that's nothing new. I was encouraged to follow up with my OB/GYN within 24 hours so here I am, waiting.  THE END.

Back to reality...

Yesterday, I went to see my OB to be on the safe side. She concluded that the black out WAS based on my low BP and possibly me coming down with something on top of it...something fluish, despite my flu shot. Blast. And I'm down 3 pounds! I want a flipping bump already! I know it'll come but I'm not exactly patient at this moment. Anyway...

The nurse tried to hear a heartbeat...nothing.

The doctor tried to hear a heartbeat...nothing.

So I get an unexpected ultrasound...and there he or she was. I was really surprised how baby-shaped it was. You expect ultrasounds to be all fuzzy with just a little blip of a heartbeat when they're that small. I mean, we weren't supposed to get our first ultrasound until the 10th (and we'll still get it, this was just to make sure the monster hadn't been affected by what I was affected by...and he or she was A-OK). So there it was, my monster and it's wiggly heartbeat. It even entertained me by doing a little backstroke maneuver. It was the first time I felt calm since Saturday.

But I was alone. I didn't expect an ultrasound. No one was there to share the cool moment.

Todd, though sad he missed it, said I shared the cool moment with the baby.

: )

Potential Pals: A Note To The Unborn Vol. 3

Hello Monster:

As you may know, because I've been reading you US Magazine, a whole mess of "celebrities" are preggo at the same time as me. I'm 100% certain their offspring couldn't possibly measure up to you, even though we haven't been properly introduced yet.  Anyway, for your entertainment, here is the list so you know whose children to feel superior to once you're born:

Alicia Silverstone
Selma Blair
Kate Hudson
Jewel
Victoria Beckham
Marion Cotillard
Natalie Portman
Jennifer Connelly
Jane Krakowski
Pink
Mariah Carey
Christina Applegate

In other news, your future pal Vincent might be born today. Word around social networking is that strange things are afoot. I'm hoping he makes his debut today for two reasons: I'm sure Aunt Stephanie is ready to have her body back AND I predicted weeks ago that he would be born today (your dad and I were married on the 19th so I gravitate towards that date). If he IS born today, I'm buying myself a cupcake and considering a new career involving voo-doo.

And speaking of voo-doo, sort of, I'm going to start crocheting you some toys from the book 'Creepy Cute Crochet'. It'll be something creative for me to do while you and I watch all the TV we've been watching. Dad tried to get a copy for me last night but Boarder's was out. He picked up 'Zombie Felties' instead but they have lots of dangerous parts for you to munch on. So I'll just wait for a copy of the book I wanted and start making you and your future pals, Vincent, Livvie and Evan, some awesome stuff. I'll probably do Robot and Ninja first because I suspect you'll be a lot like me and that's what I'd want.

Sidenote, you better be a girl because you're DOOMED as far as boy baby names go.

Now get back to growing! We'll talk again soon.

xoxo,
Mommy

Way To Go: Graduating From Embryo to Fetus.

Oh, my stupid guts. I wish you could just make up your mind and decide if you don't want to poop at all or if you want to poop like crazy. And bladder, you were my ace, only waking me up once in the middle of the night to empty you. Now you want to get up multiple times?? Blast.

My uterus is allegedly the size of an orange or small grapefruit and according to books and the interweb, 3/4 of my wardrobe shouldn't fit at this point. My pants fit but my shirts/hoodies are starting to hike up a smidge, thanks to these ever-expanding jugs. I'm putting off the shopping for now because the shirts my husband has grown out of are doing the trick.

The monster is no longer an embryo! It's graduated to FETUS!

If we're going to talk olives, this is the longest I've been sober since I was 19. I don't miss the alcohol, per se. The amount of boozing I had been doing pre-preggers was pretty minimal anyway. But in 31 weeks, these are the kind of olives I want to be talking about (not true at all, I hate martinis...but you know what I mean):

The little monster is becoming less-monsterific. The fingers and toes are no longer webbed and tooth buds are...budding. All the organs needed for the baby to run amok are formed and growing. And he/she is an inch long! And to think, next week, my pregnancy with be a 1/4 complete. Like I said, I'm taking advantage of every milestone I can.

I'm hoping that I can rally today and hit a movie or lunch, something outside of this house. Todd got a new job and that deserves some celebration because it's going to be SUPER helpful when the monster comes into our lives/home. Unfortunately, I've been a comatose zombie that's only been motivated by my bladder-n-guts. So hopefully the fetus will cut me some slack and let me enjoy my Saturday. Only time will tell.

Next up, more blood work. Good thing I have more blood than usual.



Hello Stirrups: Keeping It Low Key At Our First OB/GYN Appointment.

Yesterday was our first trip to the OB/GYN since the pink plus sign appeared in our lives. I had read all about how intense and in depth the first appointment could be. Yeah, no. This appointment was borderline boring. But it was nice to spend some bonding time with Todd. It was even nicer to be greeted in the parking lot with, "Hello babies" and a hug.

So after filling out a hand-numbing amount of paperwork and plunking down a credit card for the monster's expenses, I was weighed in (no weight gain yet) and gave a urine sample...which was MUCH darker than the other samples lurking around. I was definitely more apple cider than apple juice. Todd said it's because I don't drink enough water but I've been trying. It's like drinking POISON! But moving on...

Both our nurse and doctor were pumped to hear we didn't need the Clomid after all. From that point on, we just chatted a bunch. I got a list of all the OTC meds I can take, some tips on battling nausea, and a preview of some things to come in the next few weeks. Had a quick pelvic to swab for STDs...yes, I hate the word swab and YES, I did this back in September but they're being cautious. I'm cool with that.

I was really disappointed to find out we weren't getting an ultrasound though. I was counting on hearing the heartbeat to put me at ease. I wasn't that little bonding moment to FEEL like a mom. Not until the next appointment, which sounds much more entertaining. They'll draw blood, check out the heartbeat, and do the 1st trimester ultrasound to gather the odds of Downs and other birth defects < - - - -we opted for the 1st and 2nd trimester ultrasound screening methods rather than the Amnio. That's far too creepy with far too high odds of something going berzerk. No thank you.

So I guess we'll have to wait until February 10th to know the monster is A-OK.

My doctor is super calm so that keeps me calm. She had 6 women in labor while I was there and was totally relaxed so I have no excuse. She congratulated us, hooked us up with 2 bags full of loot, and sent us on our way. AND the date of the monster's (potential) debut was confirmed by actual medical professionals and not the interwebs:

AUGUST 20th!

Which just go happens to be Olivia's original due date!! RAD.

Post-appointment, my husband took me to lunch and I actually handled it pretty well. The restaurant didn't smell fishy at all (the nose knows) and I managed to eat a little soup, some salad, and 2 potato skins. That's the most I've eaten in weeks. In was nice to spend time with Todd that didn't include me being in a coma. It was a cute way to commemorate our first appointment. I'm glad he's so involved and not a dead beat. There was a newborn behind us at the restaurant and he had staaaaaaars in his eyes.

After that it was right back into the coma to rest the baby machine. Consistency.

Not sure what will happen between now and the next appointment, besides our 10 week photo shoot, but you better believe if there's news, I'll be blathering it.

Eight is Great: The Last Month of the 1st Trimester.

With 8 weeks under my belt, the little monster is this big:

 And it looks like this, which I find down-right adorable AND creeptastic:

We're kicking off the last month of the 1st trimester. I'm breaking this thing down into as many milestones as possible to get me through it. Right now, I'm just trying to get to that magical 12 - 14 week range when, allegedly, morning sickness takes a hike. It's not like I spend all my waking hours (of which there are very few) with my head in a toilet but I do frequently feel like goldfish are swimming laps in my guts. I'm dealing with it.

Not too many changes from last week as far as I'm concerned. Getting a little more emo in regards to crying at commercials, adding more items to the list of things I can't stand the smell of, carving out an impression of my body in our bed which is my happy place. Pretty typical. And my body looks similar to week 6 (WHY do I have the rib-cage of a mythological monster???). Bloated but not babylicious.

Oh, and I've gone up a cup size. Hello 36 D! Because I was suffering from both pregnancy AND the flu this week/weekend, I got to send my husband out for a more adequate support system for the pups. I've always been a fan of super huge (to an almost ridiculous degree) cans so this is just awesome for me...and for him.

As for the monster, he/she has a whole bunch of junk going on. And speaking of junk, if it's a boy, it's growing a penis this week. My step-son found this to be hilarious. I find it fascinating. The tail is almost gone (so uber-creepy), the eyes are moving forward (and now have eyelids), the ears are moving up from the neck, and the little thing is making spontaneous movements, even if I can't feel them. Allegedly it's beginning to look more human but in my head, it still looks Dren from "Splice". How many times will I reference that movie?

Tomorrow is our first doctor's appointment and I'm super pscyched. It's hard to believe it's been 4 weeks since I made the appointment. Time is flying and crawling simultaenously. I can't wait to see/hear a heartbeat and to be reassured that everything is trucking along as it should. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in a panic. I'm guessing that's normal for first time moms.

Speaking of first time moms, we got the sweetest card in the mail from April, Dennis and Olivia. It made my whole day, saying that I should take care of myself and soon enough, our kids would be playing together. If our monster is a boy, it's going to marry Olivia. I've already made up my mind. Arranged marriages are still in fashion, right?

Hopefully I'll have an ultrasound pic to post tomorrow. Holy cow!

2011: The Year Our Monster Will Be Born.

Let me start this off by saying that it's becoming increasingly more difficult to search for the "my baby is as big as this fruit" and "my baby looks like this in utero right now" photos. More and more, pictures of deformations, abortions, still-births, and whatnot are popping up. With my ever-changing emo-ness and my newly sensitive stomach, they're getting harder and harder to see. It makes my monster being the size of a bluberry (10,000 times bigger than at conception) less fun somehow.

So what do we know at the start of the 8th week? We know that arms and legs are dividing into hands, shoulders, knees, feet, and getting longer and stronger. The mouth and tongue are cooking and the permanent kidneys are in place. The middle ear and vestibular system (for hearing and banace) are developing, the eyelids are formed, and bone begins to replace cartilage, first with the spine and rib (two places where I've broken bones myself).

And here's a crazy factoid: the intestines are formed but are hanging out in the umbilical cord. They'll get squeezed into the abdomen later on. Pretty rad stuff right there! And the monster, though I'm not sure how they know this, can feel any sudden moves I make. Good thing I gave up Mixed Martial Arts and fencing.

As for me, well, yeah, I'm definitely starting to feel pregnant. The gassiness and heartburn have subsided a little but other symptoms are taking over. I've mentioned it before, but I am EXHAUSTED just about 24/7. I've napped several times a day over this holiday weekend. But I've sort of narrowed it all down: I am most exhausted in the afternoons, starting around 2:00. Doesn't really matter much that I've pinpointed when things go south because I'm at work at 2:00 and they frown on random napping.

Noon and afternoon is also the time when I've been experiencing "morning" sickness, as of this week. After lunch time, I start feeling increasingly full and squirrely, and though I've only tossed my cookies twice, the fact that I COULD is making eating and drinking slightly difficult. And my sense of super smell isn't helping. I can smell everything EVERYWHERE and Todd is getting sick of me announcing in.

I feel crummy. I feel useless and pathetic right now. I was totally determined to not let the 1st trimester kick my legs out from under me and I feel like I'm failing. I keep reminding myself (and Todd does, too) that with the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, my obstacles are slightly taller. But I'm starting to feel down-n-out about how much I struggle during the day. I had to cancel plans with friends that I MISS because I KNOW by the time they'll get here, I'll be nauseated and napping. I need to think positive. I know it will be worth it in 230 days.

CUTENESS TO REMEMBER - New Year's Eve:

Todd: I want to be able to toast with my wife, son and nephew.

Me: What about your baby?

Todd: I counted it as a part of you. But of course with my little pea-pod.

It was also cute that at midnight Todd announced that this is the year our baby will be born

I hope I don't sleep through the whole thing. HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!