2011: The Year Our Monster Will Be Born.

Let me start this off by saying that it's becoming increasingly more difficult to search for the "my baby is as big as this fruit" and "my baby looks like this in utero right now" photos. More and more, pictures of deformations, abortions, still-births, and whatnot are popping up. With my ever-changing emo-ness and my newly sensitive stomach, they're getting harder and harder to see. It makes my monster being the size of a bluberry (10,000 times bigger than at conception) less fun somehow.

So what do we know at the start of the 8th week? We know that arms and legs are dividing into hands, shoulders, knees, feet, and getting longer and stronger. The mouth and tongue are cooking and the permanent kidneys are in place. The middle ear and vestibular system (for hearing and banace) are developing, the eyelids are formed, and bone begins to replace cartilage, first with the spine and rib (two places where I've broken bones myself).

And here's a crazy factoid: the intestines are formed but are hanging out in the umbilical cord. They'll get squeezed into the abdomen later on. Pretty rad stuff right there! And the monster, though I'm not sure how they know this, can feel any sudden moves I make. Good thing I gave up Mixed Martial Arts and fencing.

As for me, well, yeah, I'm definitely starting to feel pregnant. The gassiness and heartburn have subsided a little but other symptoms are taking over. I've mentioned it before, but I am EXHAUSTED just about 24/7. I've napped several times a day over this holiday weekend. But I've sort of narrowed it all down: I am most exhausted in the afternoons, starting around 2:00. Doesn't really matter much that I've pinpointed when things go south because I'm at work at 2:00 and they frown on random napping.

Noon and afternoon is also the time when I've been experiencing "morning" sickness, as of this week. After lunch time, I start feeling increasingly full and squirrely, and though I've only tossed my cookies twice, the fact that I COULD is making eating and drinking slightly difficult. And my sense of super smell isn't helping. I can smell everything EVERYWHERE and Todd is getting sick of me announcing in.

I feel crummy. I feel useless and pathetic right now. I was totally determined to not let the 1st trimester kick my legs out from under me and I feel like I'm failing. I keep reminding myself (and Todd does, too) that with the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, my obstacles are slightly taller. But I'm starting to feel down-n-out about how much I struggle during the day. I had to cancel plans with friends that I MISS because I KNOW by the time they'll get here, I'll be nauseated and napping. I need to think positive. I know it will be worth it in 230 days.

CUTENESS TO REMEMBER - New Year's Eve:

Todd: I want to be able to toast with my wife, son and nephew.

Me: What about your baby?

Todd: I counted it as a part of you. But of course with my little pea-pod.

It was also cute that at midnight Todd announced that this is the year our baby will be born

I hope I don't sleep through the whole thing. HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!