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One month ago today at 3:53pm, Spencer came into our lives. Despite everything that has happened since, it remains the best day of my life. He is still the sweetest baby I have ever been around and I know how lucky I am to be his mommy...especially since everyone keeps threatening to kidnap him. Everyday, I learn more about him, and myself. I am a lot stronger than I thought, even if I don't always feel that way. And I'm a good mom, though I don't always feel THAT way. Some how, the second they put him in my arms 1 month ago, I knew what to do. I just knew how to be a mom. And with all the hurt we've felt this past month, I know exactly how big my heart is. And it totally belongs to Spencer (OK, Todd gets some of it, too). I've wasted too much time with my tears. From this point forward, I'm sucking it up because I don't want to miss a second of Spencer. Even the seconds that involve poop.

Yesterday we received more good test results. Just like the frogs, things are only moving forward. He's up to 7 lbs 14 ounces and looking, sounding, and feeling good, just as he should. He's getting super strong and making the doctors happy. I still despise watching him give blood but he handles it. A quick cry and he's over it. And then I do what I do...snuggle him close and kiss him melon. It's good for both of us. The bottom line is that his test results rocked and we now only have to go downtown biweekly!!! I still believe Spencer is kicking ass to make things easier for me. I think he wants me to be happy when I'm with him, not feel bad for him. So I felt proud instead. He's such a good little guy! And yes, he's still getting a treat for being so tuff! Anyway, hopefully things continue on a positive wave and then they'll say he's in "remission" and we'll only go monthly just to keep an eye on things. Then we can just deal with his other needs. That sits just fine with me because if I had to watch him be treated for cancer...it would break me.

So Happy 1 Month to the love of my life. You've made me a better person and I hope I'm doing right by you. Every day that we spend together is better than the one before. You've got such a little personality and I love watching you grow. But maybe you could slow down jusssssst a little. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and have you going off to college. I won't be able to dress you in robot and monster outfits then.

I LOVE YOU!